Darkness have a reason

I should be rushing my homework now, but hey, that can wait.
It feels as if for very long time i have not been myself anymore.

Controlled by circumstance, by uncertainty,by doubt and confusion.I miss my true self, the real me.
So today i would like some time with myself, and the unknown limitless possibilities of the universe. 
 
I have to admit i just a small humble human being in this world.
Although a designer is granted with much power (ahaha),however the society i live in is still not an optimum breeding ground for creativity.
My mind is so open it can accept many things. It's good, but sometimes i'm too simple-minded.
So recently i have been challenged with the existence of god and the building of heaven. I have been looking through religion to find my own value for quite sometime. I've been a Buddhist,Atheist,Taoist,Unificationist ;i've been into a church, i've prayed before i eat and everything.I'll go through experiments and find the most suitable living belief for me.That is mine reality.

Until now, guess i didn't want to settle down on any of those.I think i'm a free-thinker. Every religion is good in some way, extreme in others. However,i do not accept anything as an absolute truth to me.Because religion is always altered by HUMANS to their own advantage.Therefore i don't consider myself as "belonging" to any religion.

Freedom worth the most to me.To able to fight for MY thoughts,and not those thoughts and principles that my religion wanted me to.I only believe in true love, and it includes true love between gay and lesbians.I don't care what other people say.

I thought praying was an interesting thing to do, not exactly to god, but to the universe, and perhaps, to myself .As someone told me before, "you are your own greatest god", and as long as i ever live and experienced, it was true.

If someone ever claimed he was god, i might accept it, but not to believe it nor do i expect others to believe in it.It doesn't really matter to me, it does not change me in any way.That person could not come to my life and say, "I'll help you do your assignment". Since i'm the only person that can change myself, and help myself do assignment, i guess i'm my own greatest god.

The real creation forces in the universe have give me freedom,that no matter what religion i'm in, how many stupid things i do in search of myself, it loves me eternally. A silent love. Unshaken by anything at all.

So tonight i speak to the silent existence,with positive energy. Thank you for the darkness. When darkness is strong in it's maximum intensity, light is not far from here.

To the unknown reality, power, and infinite possibilities of the universe, thank you for keeping me alive today. Thank you for all the freedom, to create and the beauty, to share. Thank you for the food , the water, the songs, joy and sorrow, that makes the earth beautiful.Thank you for making each and everyone unique, so that the world is not boring. Thank you for all the love and memories, and the chance of merely existing.

Thank you for making me see, that i'm a part of the whole. I understand my eternal position.And that i don't belong to anything, not even "god", because i only belong to myself.

When i love and celebrate, i connect myself to the universe. When i'm aware, i'm as wise as the old universe, and nothing will be able to blind me.Not even religion.

So free-thinking is for me.Yes, yes, you say you're working to make the world a better place.Of course, all religion says that.And all people, generally, thinks that whatever aim they have, it's good, (to themselves), but not to me.

And any religion that condemn others, even any minority group, is stupid to me.
Ahhhh, i came back to mine reality.
Play and live on.

As long as human love each other, there is no need to have religion. 
 "Love each other or perish." ~Tuesdays With Morrie